Post Boston Red Sox Victory Parade Hangover (PBRSVPH)

By Boston Dan
Correspondent for www.drunkenbleachers.com

Can I cross between sports? Did the Sox and Patriot swap karma? I'm not sure but the Pats looked pretty awful today. This shouldn't be too surprising since just about everything looks awful after waking up with a Post Boston Red Sox Victory Parade Hangover (PBRSVPH). The PBRSVPH is the hangover by which all others should be measured. This is because it is the result of a day much like the following:

6:00am: Wake up call. Get in shower, do not turn on water. Instead dump four bottles of chilled, cheap champagne all over yourself. Now turn on the water and shower as normal.

6:45am: Mix 1/2 Gallon of mimosa's, drink said half gallon while riding the T to copley square.

7:04am: T stop: Boston University West

7:06am: T stop: Boston University Central

7:08am: T stop: Boston University East. It's a little past seven in the morning and I'm rocking a pretty good buzz. This is something that hasn't happened since college, and will probably never happen again. I'm OK with that. What I'm not OK with is BU students aversion to WALKING. Three T stops, all roughly 100 yards apart? I'll tell you what happened to BU students: They grow up to become the people who drive around parking lots for up to 10 minutes waiting for a parking spot in the first few rows rather than park in the back. They will waste all that time to avoid a 30 second walk from their car to their destination... I know that I'm getting off track hear in order to complain but you have to understand that I'm suffering from PBRSVPH.

7:37am: Arrive at Copley Plaza. Post up on the step in front of Boston Public Library. The parade will pass by here at approximately 11:00am. That means standing in the rain for 3.5 hours, in a crowd, without and bathrooms around. At this point it would seem appropriate to remind you that I and the two women I am with [we will call them J. and K. Wing] have consumed 1/2 gallon of mimosas and an equal amount of coffee. This might not be a huge problem for me, but it was a huge problem for the wing sisters.

9:42am: Problem solved. Don't ask.

11:03am: The moment I've been dreaming about for most of my relatively young life: about 6 feet away from me, David Ortiz rolled past me in a Duck Boat, hefting the World Series Trophy. In Boston.

12:01pm: Reflect on the fact that we just saw a Red Sox players holding the world series trophy in a Duck Boat over some beers and food at a Boylston Street Bar.

4:45pm: Return to my apartment in Allston. Nap.

6:30pm: Wake up, realize that I have no costume for the costume party I am supposed to attend in two hours. Run to thrift store and purchase lots of drab green clothing.

9:00pm: Attend party as retired Red Sox numbers in right field at Fenway park.

1:00am: Leave party, go to bed... PBRSVPH already setting in.

8:37am: Wake up, wonder what died in my mouth. Commence PBRSVPHRDBGTAAYCEB (Post Boston Red Sox Victory Parade Hangover Recovery Day By Going To An All You Can Eat Brunch.

10:45am: Former college roommate Greg remarks that the first three letters in PBRSVPH are PBR, which is his favorite beer.

7:00pm-ish: Pats win streak ends.

11:35pm: Blog.

www.drunkenbleachers.com