Report From Red Sox Country

By Boston Dan Correspondent for www.drunkenbleachers.com

Let's get some things straight so that hopefully, I won't have tomention them again during the playoffs: 1. Byung-Hyung Kim should be traded for a sack of baseballs. Baseballs that have already been used in batting practice. Y@nkee battingpractice. I'm not saying he's totally worthless as a pitcher (yes I am) but he has no business pitching for the Boston Red Sox. We gave him a chance. We gave him many chances. What did we get in return? Blown saves and the middle finger. Rumor has it that when B.K. was called back up to the majors during the series against Baltimore, the sox pitching staff madehim apologize for sucking, before allowing him to board the team bus. Talk about degrading. Talk about justice. As much as I think that B.K. is the worst sox reliever since Heathcliff Sloccumb (who we traded for Varitek and Lowe), the loss against Baltimore wasn't totally his fault. He never should have been in there... which leads me to my second point: 2. Terry Francona is a jellyfish, or in any event, some kind of invertebrate. Terry should be fired as soon as the season is over. Unfortunately for us, if we fire him now, it may cause too much disruption in the club and the result would be worse than if we just let him continue to float around in the dugout. Frankly, letting B.K. Kim pitch in a close game, then forcing the sox to participate in a reenactment of Game 7 by leaving Pedro in too long against the Y@nkees was too much to handle. Doesn't he realize that the only reason he got the job in the first place is because his predecessor let Pedro pitch in the 8th inning, with a lead, against he Y@nkees? Beyond dumb. He should be fired for that alone as a message to future managers: "No seriously, don't do that." But wait, I'm not done with Terry just yet...When the third base ump botched the first tag call in game 1 of the last Baltimore series, Francona should have argued until he was ejected. He didn't. When the same ump screwed up another tag call in the SAME game,he should have gone ballistic. Francona had no excuse for NOT doing what every other manager would have done: Throw his hat, kick some dirtat the ump's feet and get tossed out. But he didn't. Only the next day when the sox threw behind a Y@nkees batter did he decided to argue and get thrown out. But even then, he proved to be such an ineffective cusser, he seemed like he and the ump were conducting afreakin' knitting circle. He needed to beg the ump to eject him, which the ump reluctantly did. You could practically see him mouthing:"Please Sir, would you be so kind as to send me to the locker room so that anyone watching this game will think I have testicles?"It's good to see that the Red Sox have clinched a playoff spot, even if we didn't nab the AL East.

Here are some notes on food preparation during games since that seems to have been a hot topic of late:- Pumpkin Beer is good for the Sox but beware: Post Road Pumpkin Ale is brewed in New York. It's presence ensure a loss. Always check to see where your beer is brewed before consuming it. You should check this even before the nutrition label on all foods, since it is three times as important.- Always know WHO prepares your food. I was at a sox/y@nks party last weekend and the hosts had a crock-pot full of beans. Normally this is a good thing for everyone involved (except your sleeping partner). This particular host however (We will call him Pat R.) had a secret. Pat chose not to reveal this secret until the sox had lost and the game wasover. It seems that the dish had been prepared by a woman who loves theY@nkees. I still feel violated. Something has entered my body that never should have, and it cost the Red Sox a game. I have forgiven Pat. Pat will pay for what he has done in the next word, when he has to answer to a headless Ted Williams.

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