Fort Myers Report

Drunken Bleachers sent a contingent down to Fort Myers to cover the March 26th Sox game against the Toronto Blue Jays. I’ll be honest, I don’t even know who won the game but we all managed to get pretty insoxicated. Here is a running log:

12:00am – TAMPA - Pat, Vanessa and I touched down in Tampa at about midnight on Thursday. An hour later than expected because JetBlue was having problems with the landing gear. An inauspicious start to the weekend.

9:00am – CLEARWATER – We arrive at Clearwater beach expecting to lay out in the sun for a few hours before heading down to Fort Myers. Unfortunately it’s colder in Clearwater than it is in Boston. The locals are saying that they can’t ever remember it being this cold at the end of March. We decide to pack up and head down to Fort Myers a littler earlier than normal.

11:00pm – FORT MYERS – We have checked into our hotel, the Days Inn on North Cleveland. Pat and Vanessa had to switch rooms because the first one had bed bugs. I don’t recommend this place to any Sox fans who might venture down here next year.

After dropping off our gear we leave to meet up with Mike Smith and Dale Rostinberger for an interview. They are a couple of pitchers in the Minnesota system. Earlier today Mike earned a save against the Yankees, going 1-2-3 in the ninth inning with one strikeout [Robinson Cano]. Dale brings his girlfriend who is ridiculously hot.

The meeting was uneventful and I can report 4 things:

At Jersey’s Sports Café, 23 pitchers of beer cost only $130. 7 pitchers per pitcher..hahaha. Due to the cheap beer and tasty wings, I do recommend this place.

Mike thinks getting rid of Bronson Arroyo was a good thing.

Dale doesn’t like it when I tell his girlfriend that she should stop dating a minor league baseballer and start dating a major league blogger. She declined.

7-11 has good sandwiches at 3am.

8:00am – FORT MYERS – Game Day! I start off by tossing the leftover Cubano sandwich in the microwave. A sure-fire hangover killer. While it’s warming up I shuffle out to the pool for some fresh air. About 3 minutes later I can smell smoke coming from my room. This can’t be good. As I enter the room it’s obvious that something in the microwave had caught fire.

As I unplug it and wait for the blaze to die down, I realize that I had stored my maps and tickets in the microwave so a potentially scruple-lacking maid wouldn’t swipe them. Sweet Jesus. I think…I just… burnt Red Sox tickets?! Surely Sacrilegious… At best unconstitutional (Constitution of Red Sox Nation). NEVER STORE ANYTHING IN THE MICROWAVE.

12:00pm – City of Palms Park – Fortunately the ticket guy, after laughing in my face for 5 full minutes, allowed us into the game even though, in place of tickets, all I could produce was a handful of ashes. Bless his heart.

1:00pm – City of Palms Park – The sun was shining, the beer was flowing, the Sox were playing. Insoxication ensued. As I mentioned I am not sure of the final score. I think my reporting skills may be lacking.

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