HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

This family recipe was sent in by Jennie of Newmarket, NH. Enjoy:

This is a great recipe for Christmas cookies that has been passed down
through the generations of our family.  I am sharing it with you to be
enjoyed during this holiday season.

Christmas Cookie Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar..Beat again. At this point it's best to make
sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck
in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on
the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it
lloose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget the
turner. Finally, throw the bowl out, finish the Cose Juervo and make
sure to put the stove in the dishwasher CHERRY MISTMAS. 

Apply to be the New Red Sox GM

Do you want to be the one to decide what to do with Manny? Boston.com is accepting applications from anyone for the Red Sox GM position:

"...we can't promise you'll get the position, all we can do is try and get you a little face time with the head honchos. Fill out the application below for consideration. Keep your answers short, and to the point. You will be contacted if we're interested. Thanks, and good luck."

Fill out the application

If You Were Going to Hire A Guy In A Bear Suit

I decided to post this story as a warning to anyone who has plans to hire a guy in a bear suit to entertain at a party this weekend:

After learning that Wally the Green Monster was booked to make an appearance elsewhere on the evening of his house warming party, our pal, Boston Dan of Somerville, MA, placed this "Bear Needed" ad on Boston Craiglist. He was in search of a person in dire need of $50 who would be willing to "show up in a bear suit with 6 pack of Labatt Blue beer, and sit down somewhere, then about 30 minutes later, leave". The "bear suit would be provided".

After receiving over 70 responses to the ad (who knew?), Dan just picked someone randomly. It turned out to be a sketchy guy, with a fake English accent. The guy did an okay job in his 30 minutes inside the bear suit, but afterwards he actually came BACK to hit on every woman at the party.

There are two lessons here: 1) Don't hire a guy off Craiglist to wear a bear suit. Get a professional. 2) Don't accept a job to impersonate the Labatt Blue bear in hope of landing a date. In the Labatt Blue commercials, the Labatt Blue Bear is smooth and he "gets the girls" but this is completely inexplicable and you are not the real Labatt Blue bear.

Frightful

I half expected to turn on ESPN this morning to find out that like the eggs that were thrown at my window last night, the story about Theo Epstein leaving the Red Sox was just a cruel Halloween prank.

It was not a prank. There was no news conference on ESPN with Larry Lucchino and Epstein shaking hands. There was only this frightful statement:

"“In my time as general manager, I gave my entire heart and soul to the organization. During the process leading up to today'’s decision, I came to the conclusion that I can no longer do so. In the end, my choice is the right one not only for me but for the Red Sox." -- Theo Epstein

This is a huge disappointment. Theo was supposed to be the face of the Red Sox until he was old and grey but he was driven out of town before his 32nd birthday. Larry Lucchino is the villain here. A GM wants control of his team and Lucchino would not relinquish that.

David Ortiz put it best: "We were in the playoffs every year," Ortiz said. "He put the pieces together. They should iron things out with Theo. He's the man, bro."