Look Away

"The Green Monster" photo by eoinlane via Flickr

It may be best not to conjure up any ugly images from Tuesday's 8-5 bashing by the Blue Jays. Let's just look at pretty pictures from sunny days and thank the stars that the Sox only play the Jays nine more times.

Tonight David Pauley will make his Major League debut vs Sox nemesis Ted Lilly. Divine intervention may be required to avoid the sweep. Drink heavily as needed.

See you at 7:07/4:07 PT.

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The Curse of the Bambino Lives

Sunday, at the exact moment that Barry Bonds launched career home run number 715, the microphone of San Francisco Giants announcer, Dave Flemming, went inexplicably dead.

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

"KNBR broadcaster Dave Flemming was making the call on Barry Bonds' historic 715th home run Sunday when his microphone went dead, leaving the radio audience with crowd noise for more than 10 seconds until fellow broadcaster Greg Papa rushed on the air to pick up the proceedings and describe the achievement."

"If you'd only heard the rest of it, it was an unbelievable call,'' said Flemming, who was initially unaware that he wasn't being heard over the air. "It's too bad we don't have proof. I have to joke about it because it's too painful to think about."

Coincidence, or was the Babe's ghost involved?

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Fun with Graphs

I've been having some fun this season analyzing Red Sox games with the Win Probability Graphs created over at Fan Graphs.com.

Here is a good summary of how the graphs work from Dave Studeman of the Hardball Times:

"Here's the basic idea. An average team, at any point in a game, has a certain likelihood of winning the game. For instance, if you're leading by two runs in the ninth inning, your chances of winning the game are much greater than if you're leading by three runs in the first inning. With each change in the score, inning, number of outs, base situation or even pitch, there is a change in the average team's probability of winning the game."

To take it up a notch, "Win Probability Added" (WPA) is the calculation the impact that each pitcher or batter has his team's victory (or defeat). For example, if a player hits a three run home run with his team up 15-0 in the ninth inning, he only helps his team's chance of winning by a small percentage because the win probability was already close to 100%. If the same player hits a solo home run with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning with the score tied, he has had a huge impact on the probability of his team winning. The WPA statistic takes into account how well a player performs in the clutch. Fun, right?

Based on the season WPA statistics for the Sox, Jonathan Papelbon is actually the most valuable Red Sox player with a ranking of 211.7. Manny Ramirez is second with 171.3. The least valuable is Matt Clement with -90.2 with Alex Gonzales close behind at -84.4. Values are in percentages and every 100% equals one win.

The WPA season stats for the Red Sox can be viewed here at Fan Graphs. There is also a great new site, Sox Watch, where graphical WPA statistics are posted for every Sox game.

A side note about the Yankees WPA statistics: Even though A-Rod leads the team in home runs and RBIs, his WPA is only 10.9 (not clutch!) while Derek Jeter's WPA is 228.0 (super clutch!) Wow.

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Congratulations Curt Schilling on Win #200

"That was something I never dreamed of. I came to the big leagues in 1988 with an earring and a bad haircut. Probably not the smartest kid in the world, and 18 years later there are just so many things. I've been blessed beyond anything I've ever imagined, personally and professionally." --- Curt Schilling (Time to Reflect After Milestone)

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Photo from Boston.com

I just read this Boston Herald article about a "joust" Friday night between a fan sitting behind home plate at Fenway and Red Sox pitcher, Keith Foulke:

"Foulke was descending the dugout steps after allowing a home run to Carl Crawford when he apparently was heckled by a fan sitting directly behind the Sox dugout. The pitcher backed up slightly and exchanged words with the fan before entering the dugout, where television cameras caught him firing his glove in frustration."

Trust me. I am in no way against heckling. I have been known to make my share of not so kid friendly remarks after one or two (or three) cold beers --- directed at the opposing team. Heckling Foulke on his way back to the dugout after a bad outing is just low.

There are only three acceptable reasons to boo or heckle a player on your home team (poor performance is not one of them):

1. Lack of Hustle

If a player does not run out an infield popup, "dogs it" to first base on an infield ground ball or allows a fly ball to drop in the outfield when it could have been caught with a dive, it is acceptable to boo.

2. Despicable behavior on or off the field

Wife beating, lying to the Grand Jury, hitting with a corked bat and steroid use (without remorse) are all good examples. Boo.

3. A player insults the home fans or the city

For example, after Byung-Hyun Kim's "middle finger incident" at Fenway it became universally acceptable to boo and heckle him until he could no longer step on the field as a member of the Red Sox. (I'll give Foulke the benefit of the doubt that he was misunderstood when he made the "Johnny Burger King" comment.)

Anyway, all cheers tonight. Schilling goes for 200. See ya at 7:05 (4:05 PT).

http://www.drunkenbleachers.com

Bronson Arroyo Commercial

"Shit, would you believe a double?"

This is really funny.

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Hat tip to Deadspin.com and Red Hot Mamma for the link.

Curt Schilling to be Virtual Villain

Evil Curt

I am not exactly "up" on the latest in online gaming, but I will definitely try my hand at EverQuest II next month when Curt Schilling makes his debut as a virtual villain. According to a press release from Sony Online Entertainment:

"Curt Schilling is about to debut in his favorite online video game, EverQuest II, as an epically awesome, loot-dropping virtual bad guy who battles unwary players. Schilling's video game character will reside within the online world of EverQuest II (EQII) for three days during the Yankees vs. Red Sox baseball series June 5, 6 and 7, 2006 at Yankee Stadium. During this time, anyone can register for and log into EverQuest II at www.battleals.com to challenge the evil Schilling character, appropriately named 'Curt Schilling.'"

Every time an online player defeats the "epically awesome" evil Schilling, Sony Online Entertainment will make a $5 donation to the ALS Association.

There is no confirmation yet on Curt's weapon of choice (baseballs?) or whether or not he will be wearing a virtual bloody sock.

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A-Rod Reveals His Mantra

"I hit solid with an accelerated bat head."

This is the mantra that A-Rod has repeated to himself "at least 10,000 times over the years" according to today's Boston Globe article, by Stan Grossfeld.

I am in no way against positive thinking, but there is something really funny about the image of A-Rod in front of a mirror trying to put himself in a postive mindset: "I hit solid with an accelerated bat head. I hit solid with an accelerated bat head. I hit solid with an accelerated bat head."

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A Worthy Opponent

Is this photo from a sneak preview of Rocky VI? No, it is Philadelphia Phillies centerfielder, Aaron Rowand, after his miraculous "nose breaking" catch last week. Maybe I am just glad that the Red Sox are not playing the Atlanta Braves on "Interleague Play Rivalry Weekend", but I am looking forward to the series this weekend in Philly.

The problem is that now I have a major craving for a Cheesesteak from Jim's Steaks in Philadelphia. I noticed that Jim ships his steaks "anywhere in the US overnight." Seattle, Washington? I wonder what the steak will look like when it gets here.

Tonight: Matt Clement vs. Jon Lieber

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Photo from Comcast SportsNet

Underwater Hockey?

There is a photo gallery on Boston.com today which introduces readers [viewers?] to the sport of Underwater Hockey.

Underwater Hockey?! I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand I feel that the MIT kids that invented this game should be praised for their ingenuity and initiative... It's not everyday that a new athletic contest is created. Is there a Nobel Prize for Sport? On the other hand, I am concerned. Perhaps these young men and women should spend more time looking for dates. I could recommend several bars in the Cambridge area just filled with eligible students of equivalent brain power. As a last resort, there are a million online dating sites... MIT folk are into computers, right?

Either way, I think that Drunken Bleachers has stumbled upon a vast, untapped market here. Think of the myriad "Underwater Hockey" aficionados out there, LOOKING to purchase apparel which reflects their true passion... but alas, not a single company has stepped up. There are so many great phrases to choose from: "MIT Underwater Hockey: Oxygen is for the weak" or "Underwater hockey girls: We stay wet for hours" or maybe on the back of the T-shirt you list defensive strategies which include peeing in the pool. I mean, the MIT mascot is beaver! Have fun with that one.

Finally I would just like to issue Drunken Bleachers' first ever PSA: Please look at slide #10 in Boston.com's photo gallery. Holy Crap. People, please do not leave your baby sleeping in a stroller at the EDGE OF A POOL! What is that? Why is the baby even there? I doubt his parent is watching Underwater Hockey... I doubt you can see much as a spectator.

That is all.

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Home Run Tracking

Detail of Big Papi's home run 5/1 vs. Yankees (from HitTracker.com)

Thanks to Lookout Landing for sharing the fun that is HitTracker.com. I just spent the last hour playing with statistics of 2006 Red Sox home runs:

• Dustin Mohr has the longest Red Sox home run this season at 454 feet (4/12 at Fenway Park).

• David Ortiz has the longest home run when the atmospheric influences of wind, temperature and altitude are removed. The blast he hit off Mike Myers of the Yankees on 5/1 was estimated at 460 feet.

• Ortiz hit the shortest home run at 345 feet (4/13 at Fenway Park).

• Ortiz hit the home run with the fastest calculated speed off the bat at 120.7 mph (5/1 at Fenway Park).

• Ortiz hit the home run with the slowest calculated speed off the bat at 98.2 mph (4/13 at Fenway Park).

• Ortiz hit the home run which reached the highest point above field level at 141 feet (4/3 at Ameriquest Field) and also the home run with the lowest apex at 56 feet (4/13 at Fenway Park).

• Ortiz's home run on 4/13 had an elevation angle of 46.8 degrees when it left the bat while the home run that Trot Nixon hit on 4/5 in Texas left the bat at an angle of 25.2 degrees.
  

• Manny Ramirez is currently considered MLB's "Golden Sledgehammer" because he has the highest average standard home run distance in the league at 418.8 feet.
  

Fun. Fun.

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I get the impression that the New York media doesn't like Randy Johnson so much.

From today's New York Newsday:

"The toppling of a giant is never a pretty sight, unless, of course, the giant has been as arrogant, as condescending and as thoroughly unpleasant as Randy Johnson has in his 17 months as a Yankee. Then, it gets to be kind of fun...After a career of entitlement and incivility brought on by his ability to throw a baseball, it is even harder for Johnson to accept that he is now really no better than many major-league pitchers, just a little taller..."

Randy, You Deserve Every Bit of the Abuse (by Wallace Matthews)

Harsh!

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I knew Nomar was a good guy... it goes to show you that it's not ALL about the money for EVERYONE (ahem...Damon).

From a globe article: One of Garciaparra's ex-teammates in Boston said the Dodgers and Yankees made the same offer, but Garciaparra chose LA because, ''He always considers himself a Red Sox. That's one thing people don't understand about Nomar. He would have never signed with the Yankees because he always thought of himself as a Red Sox player."

LA Story: Garciaparra Adapts by Nick Cafardo

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It won't be the end of the world if the Red Sox game is rained out tonight. We can bask in the warm glow of Thursday night's victory over the Yankees for one more day. Just in case NESN doesn't air excerpts from Remdawg Unleashed during the potential rain delay, here is some vital reading material:

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The New York Times reports on Pedro Martinez and his passion for petunias and daffodils:

"For two hours on the days Pedro is scheduled to pitch at Shea Stadium, he is alone with his pale yellow daffodils, his purple petunias, his cotton-candy-colored hyacinths...He is planting. He is pruning. He is talking to his tulips. "What about you, beauty?" he will ask in language rarely, if ever, heard on a baseball field. "Aren't you going to grow up to be so pretty?"

I never would have pegged Pedro for the "talking to tulips" type. (Hat tip to Tim for the link.)

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The USS Mariner pointed out this page of Northern League Transactions. Scroll down to May 1 where you will notice that there was a player transaction involving a pallet of beer:

"Assigned the contract of RHP Nigel Thatch (Rookie) to Fullerton of the Golden Baseball League in exchange for 1 pallet (60 cases) of Budweiser beer."

If Nigel Thatch ever makes it to the Major Leagues, he will be the subject of a great Aflac Trivia question: "What Major League pitcher was once traded for a pallet of Budweiser?"

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The Onion reports on a "breakthrough study" by Louisiana State University researchers which concluded that "Alligators are Dangerous No Matter How Drunk You Are". You never know when you might need this information.

(Thanks for the link Boston Dan. You are keeping us all safe.)

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Got something to say to Barry Bonds? The guys over at Fans on Bonds have created a Barry Bonds sign generator so that we all can harass Barry from the privacy of our homes.

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"I'm upset at a lot of them....The third baseman."

-- George Steinbrenner when asked why his team played worse than little leaguers in Monday's 14-3 loss to the Red Sox.

The fallout from this game just keeps getting better and better.

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This is a nominee for "Best Homemade Sign". (Photo from nytimes.com)

While David Ortiz cleared the bases with another clutch hit in Boston, fans in Philadelphia gave Barry Bonds some brotherly love.

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Does anybody understand this sign? (Photo from Boston.com)

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Now here is a guy worthy of a standing ovation.

According to ESPN.com, the Red Sox have reacquired Doug Mirabelli to catch Wakefield tonight vs. the Yankees.

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Boo

Dear Johnny Damon,

Perhaps you've heard about the campaign by the Boston media intended to influence fans to "do the right thing" and give you a standing ovation at Fenway tonight. That would certainly be a novel and "classy" deed. The problem is, we're not that classy and we won't be able to pull it off. Even those fans who walk into the park intending to cheer for you will turn away in horror when they sit down with a hot dog and beer and see you step to the plate wearing your old number "18" in Yankee gray.

It's not that we've forgotten how much you once meant to the Red Sox. In the four years that you played in Boston you gave us hustle, entertainment, idiocy and of course a World Series victory. We know that you are probably still a cool guy. In the overall scheme of life you did the right thing for your family by accepting the highest offer. The extra money that you will get to play in New York will give you financial security for decades.

The problem is that you do play for the Yankees and that is the one thing that a Red Sox fan cannot forgive. It has tormented us to see how quickly and completely you have acclimated to "the other side." Couldn't you at least have rebelled a little bit? Maybe you could have demanded a clause in your contract that would allow you to grow your beard every third season? Did you have to become chummy so fast with A-Rod and Jeter? And what was the deal with that comment about the Yankees being the "greatest franchise in the world"? Ouch.

We know that it was your hard work on the field that made you who you are, but we also can't quite shake the idea that in Boston it was our passion for the Red Sox and our acceptance of you "as you were" that made you a cult hero. As hard as we try to be rational, as much as we are slowly learning that baseball is indeed a "business", we just can't distinguish the man from those evil pinstripes.

Boo.

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"Knocking the straight shit out of Johnny Damon" video from You Tube